Friday, August 6, 2010

A day in my shoes...

If you have a special needs child, and have escaped all of the negative(and sometimes well-meant remarks Congratulations...and perhaps this post doesn't even effect you. I try to be the "better" person, but at times being human I let my temper get the better of me. This has been just such a week...
I won't go into all of the details, but I will say this much, as the mother of a medically and mentally fragile child I fight constantly to acquire the resources that Braeden needs from day to day. It really hurts to have someone in your own family say "You knew before you had him that it would be hard on your family in all aspects...this includes financial. If you cannot afford to get him everything he needs you should have thought about that before. This was followed by the stinging words..."You had a choice". Ouch...did I? I took the best care of myself during my pregancy, no smoking,no drinking,vitamins,ate healthy all of the things that most mommies to be do to ensure a healthy pregancy. When this person meant choice...I can only assume that they meant I could have decided not to have my son. I am angry and hurt over these comments, but alas this is not the first time such things have been said. Praying for peace and above all "understanding".

I wonder if things would be different,
If you spent a day in my shoes,
Seeing life through different eyes,
Which road do you think you would you choose?
Would you understand the way I feel?
Would you judge me with little remorse?
Tell me that you'd make wiser choices?
Or show me a much better course?
Would you try to have compassion?
Would you ask honey what can I do?
I wonder if things would be different,
If you spent a day in my shoes.
Most days I know that I am lucky,
Blessed beyond all measure,
The Lord said where your heart is,
You'll surely find your treasure.
You will find that although I'm quite thankful,
I know that someday we could lose,
And if you cannot comprehend,
Rejoice that you don't wear my shoes.
Ofcourse I know we all have shoes,
And hardships we must bear,
At times you say I seem too busy,
But that doesn't mean that I don't care.
And though our paths go different ways,
In ways I cannot even name,
We can still share many things,
Even though our shoes are not the same.
I've learned what's most important,
Are things we can't hold with our hands,
Like faith and love, and courage,
Like dreams and hopes and plans.
I wonder...can you see it?
I pray God leaves you clues,
And if you should need a reminder,
Please come walk a day in my shoes.

~Stephanie Husted


Hope's Blog said...

Oh Stephanie...that is so sad, and sadly it has happened to us as well. I remember the long hours with the doctors before Hope was born discussing our 'choices' and how difficult life would be. It is difficult at times, but I can't imagine what it would be like without her.

I am so sorry you had to hear those words and that anyone would say that to you. Life is hard enough not to have to deal with 'opinions' like that.

Love the poem and know that you and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Stefenie said...

Wow Stephanie that was pretty cruel what was said to you. My blood was boiling when I read that line.

Keep your head held high Stephanie. YOU made the RIGHT choice and chose to give your precious son life....a chance to be loved and to be held.

People that don't walk in our shoes will never truly understand why we say that if we had a choice we would do it all again. Our heart babies are such a blessing and worth all of the sacrifice.

RHONDA said...

I am so sorry that someone could be so heartless. That is so insane to think that people in this world think this way, and sad to realize that they do. However, we are the ones who are truly BLESSED. The same thing happened this week to my cousin, I don't know if you seen the post on my fbook to pray for baby Jayden, well the Drs. think he has brain damage and someone in their close family asks well are you gonna keep him?? I still want to pull there eyeballs out. You know we serve a BIG GOD and we both know he has power and can make a way in all circumstances. ( Please pray for Baby Jayden) We just need to pray for people and just keep smiling as we all have a secret that they are too ignorant to realize...we would not have ever been so BLESSED if it weren't for this journey. I love your poems, I love your blog and I love your strength. You inspire me.
Much Love
Rhonda (Zeb's Mom)

Braeden's journey...

Visits from my friends