Whenever I get sad...

There you are making me laugh!
Make a crazy face I said, and you complied :)

It never ends...and I'm thankful

"It just never ends", I told my husband the other day. If it's not insurance woes, it's another ear infection, if not something going wrong with one of the cars, then it's Braeden's liver enzymes coming back suspiciously high...always something. I should certainly learn to savor the non- complicated normal days.
Let's start with early May. Braeden caught a nasty virus which caused high fevers for more than a week, the pediatrician ordered bloodwork and a chest X-ray. The bloodwork showed unusually high liver enzymes, which she noted were probably due to whatever virus he had. He weathered the virus okay, but then caught pinkeye. A few days later we all had the virus...along with the pinkeye...(fun fun)
We were all homebound for more than a week(emptying our cupbards, wearing sunglasses in the house, yes...were were all quite a sight..lol)Colin and Braeden seemed to get over the pink eye realatively quickly, but I caught such a bad case that I lost my sight for several days. I actually scheduled my first visit with an eye doctor, and he gave me some steroid drops which helped. It has been more than 6 weeks, and my vision is still not 100 percent normal, but much better.
The second week in May, I took Braeden to Grand Rapids to be evaluated for an intensive feeding program. He is 5 years old, and I still cannot get him to eat much. We will be placed on a waiting list, and once accepted it will be an 8 week program. I am still not certain how were going to pull it off, so your prayers are appreciated. Third week in May, my doctor informed me that I need to have an echo right away, as the last one that I had showed mitral valve prolapse, along with moderate mitral valve leakage. They also noted that my aortic and tricuspid valve are leaking. Starange that I would never have known, had I not decided that we all needed echos after Braeden was born. End of May...a much needed break. Braeden graduated from pre-school :)
First weeks of June...ENT visit. It was decided that due to Braeden's numerous ear infections, he will need to have his adenoids removed. This is scheduled for July 2. We also had his bloodwork redone, and the liver enzymes are still quite high. What could this mean? Well his pediatrician doesn't want me researching things on the internet and going into a panic. It is quite possible it could mean gallstones, ofcouse there are other things it could indicate as well. We will have them tested again in a few weeks, and are hoping that they go down. If not, we will schedule a liver ultrasound within the month. It is not easy living with the what-if everyday...sometimes I think I am driving myself crazy. Praying for more peaceful...normal...quiet days. I promise I will appreciate them even more when they get here!

Today I felt a little sad,
About the things we face,
Today I guess it slipped my mind,
In all things there is grace.
The pieces of my life don't seem,
To fit the way they should,
My "Guide to Life" went missing,
(I know that can't be good)
And if I had a pick-up truck,
Then it would not be long,
Before I turned my life's story,
Into a country song.
And life sure is a puzzle,
With no picture to go by,
Perhaps I'm wasting precious time,
By pondering every..."why".
I should collect each piece God gives,
While knowing His plan is concealed,
And have the faith that someday,
All things will all be revealed.
And when a new storm heads our way,
And I am left spinning and guessing,,
Life's ordinary moments,
Are God's encripted blessing.
Sometimes I lose momentum,
Sometimes I fall behind,
My attitude takes two steps back,
And I fear I am losing my mind.
I wonder...can I do this?
I wonder am I strong?
I thought I was so capable,
But what if I was wrong?
The puzzle lays before me,
All scattered where I sit,
I pray God gives me wisdom,
To make the pieces fit.
And what if life's most precious gifts,
Don't fit with sheer perfection?
What if we must prepare the way,
For such an intersection?

I look at all the puzzle pieces,
Scattered in my hand,
And whisper ever silently,
Please help me understand...
The image comes together,
The picture grows more clear,
It's only through adversity,
That we can face our fear.

And when each piece has found it's place,
I'll sigh in sweet reflection,
Life's purpose can be clearly seen,
In silent...imperfection.

So I will face this day with hope,
Not give into defeat,
And trust this puzzle called my life,
Will someday be complete.

~Stephanie Husted